On the way back from Table Tennis trainin’ ystday, a german friend brought up the topic of the “Ladder Theory”.. I don't know, but i find this theory partially true, yet awkwardly untrue.
The theory dictates that each man has a ladder. On this ladder of his, he ranks his women friends according to how much he desires to have sex with the girl.. So obviously a girl whom he loves or dreams of being with, will occupy the top of the ladder, and vice versa.
Meanwhile, women are said to have two ladders, unlike men who have only one. This is to say that women see their male counterparts in two possible ways. One is the type whom she may regard as a possible candidate for her to commit a sexual relationship with. While the other type is a man whom she regards as mere friend. These two ladders are termed “Good Ladder” and “Friend Ladder”.
As a truncated summary, a man has a ladder, while a woman has two ladders. What implication has this concept drawn on male-female attraction?
Let’s first talk from a guy’s point of view. If a man has only one ladder, then he would find it rather impossible to be just mere friends with girls whom he ranks on top of his ladder? Personally, I disagree with this point of the theory more than i do agree. Why do I agree? Coz I see that most (but not all) men, after breaking up, will find it very difficult to be friends with their ex-gf whom they are still very much in love with. That’s pretty true how this ladder theory applies in this case. But like i said, I disagree with this one ladder concept, coz I believe there are many guys out there who are sincere in just being friends with more-than-plain-looking girls without having any slightest intention of those sex elements. I dunno, but i hope what I said is true and applies to some guys.
What about from a girl’s perspective? The theory says that a girl sets up two ladders to rank guys, the “good” and the “friend” ladder. My friend, who brought this topic up, said that most guys who are already sitting on the “friend” ladder will find it very difficult to hop to the “good” ladder. For e.g. if a guy who is a very close friend to the girl, and he one day confesses that he has likings towards her, this guy is considered to be jumping from the “friend ladder” to the “good ladder”. And in most of the cases, it is said that girls will not accept these kind of relationship, and that’s how the word rejection comes about.
But, I beg to differ. I have seen many relationship blossoms from years long of friendship.. I have seen girls who eventually gave in to plain-looking-good-hearted Jack instead of strong-muscular Tom.. Most girls do get touched by the things the goody guys do, they are swooned by the sincerity they show, they are melted by the patience these guys show. These guys who are initially in the “Friend Ladder” may one day be on top of the “Good Ladder” with the efforts shown. It’s possible, so one should not render those guys on the “friend ladder” from being unable to climb up to the top of the “Good ladder”.
When i first heard of this theory, i do find it more like a satire, but well, it does emit some smells of truth in certain circumstances.. The ugly truth about human is that we naturally tend to judge people on first impression. But I believe that when it comes to friendship or relationship, there is more than this outward perspective. In essence, the ladder may come in handy to describe BGR matters, but one must not forget that it is also merely just a metaphorical gradation.
Perhaps they should run some evidence-based trials, since this hypothesis has never been validated before, as far as i am concerned. :P
my brein has been on the frying pan for the past two days. I have no choice but to treat my poor brein this way. Two dead-lines to rush this week. I'm quite sure almost everyone is in the same situation too.. but frying it last minute and with hot blazing fire is not good. coz it turns out this way in the end:
In Chinese, we call it CHOW-HUI-TA.
